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Amy Schumer says she’s not moving abroad after all, and these celebrities probably aren’t either

🕐 3 min read

Moving out of the country is tough, even with the right motivation, like a political existential crisis. You need a job, a roof, probably a passport, and depending on where in the world these would-be Carmen Sandiegos land, a new language under your trench coat. No one is discovering this hard truth more than the pro-Clinton celebrities who claimed they were packing their bags for Canada (or the cosmos) should Donald Trump become president.

Well, Trump is checking out his new digs at the White House as we speak, and these famous émigrés are eating crow on their same old couches.

First up, there’s Amy Schumer, the comedian and cousin of Sen. Chuck Schumer, D-N.Y., who said in an interview that if the then-GOP nominee won the presidency, she’d move to Europe.

“My act will change because I will need to learn to speak Spanish because I will move to Spain or somewhere,” she told the BBC in September. “It’s beyond my comprehension if Trump won. It’s too crazy.”

Qué sorpresa, the “Trainwreck” star is staying put. In a lengthy Instagram post the morning after the election, Schumer, who watched as 200 people left her Florida comedy show last month because it was too political, said she was just joking, guys.

“Anyone saying pack your bags is just as disgusting as anyone who voted for this racist homophobic openly disrespectful woman abuser,” wrote Schumer, after adding that her plans to move was said “in jest.” And the rant continued on: “All the celebrities backing her would have. People asked how much I was paid to stand with her. Nothing. None of us were paid a dollar. We would have had to pay a lot more because we are fortunate enough to make a high income.”

And are any of these other high earners planning to make good on their promises to skip town? Big-name Clinton supporters such as Lena Dunham, Ne-Yo, Bryan Cranston, Barbra Streisand, Samuel L. Jackson, Josh Gad and Snoop Dogg have also expressed their desire to ditch America if the results didn’t go their way, but so far no one’s headed for the border.

Cher joked she’d move to Jupiter. So that’s probably not going to happen. Instead she tweeted that she spent Wednesday night in New York on Fifth Avenue and 55th Street, just one block away from Trump Tower. The “Believe in Life After Love” singer said that she talked and listened to the protesters carrying handmade signs on their way to shout “Dump Trump” in front of the president-elect’s building.

Comedian Chelsea Handler had a plan that didn’t involve space travel. She told Vanity Fair that she “had a house in Spain that is going to be ready right after the election.” But on Wednesday night, the Netflix talk show host, who admitted to being “sad, disappointed and confused,” was back to work as usual.

“But if Hillary can make it through a concession speech then I can make it through a stupid television show,” Handler said on air. “And I’m taking her lead. She said we can do it so I’m going to do it for every woman out there.”

But some celebrities couldn’t swallow the bitter pill of this presidential cycle without tears. Pop star Miley Cyrus, an outspoken supporter of Sen. Bernie Sanders, and later Clinton, for president, had said on Instagram, “I am moving if this is my president! I don’t say things I don’t mean!” She might have meant that eight months ago, but during a two-minute tear-filled video on Wednesday, the “Wrecking Ball” singer followed Clinton’s example.

“So Donald Trump, I accept you,” she said through sniffles. “And, this is hard to say, I even accept you as the president of the United States and that’s fine, because I think now I want to be a hopeful hippie.”

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