Robert Francis: From politics to chicken to pickles

person holding black remote control
Photo by Erik Mclean on Unsplash

Don’t know about you, but you would think with all our technological savvy, the ubiquitous “they” could figure out a way for people who early vote to not have to listen to the incessant cannon barrage of political commercials on TV, radio and basically anywhere you look. There may be an ad in the middle of this story, who knows?

But since I, along with millions of others around the country, have already voted why can’t “they” figure out a way to exclude us from the commercials? It would be a great incentive to early vote, believe me. I don’t have a favorite awful commercial, but there is one about some guy – and I don’t know what he’s running for – who looks like the guy that sat next to you in senior English class or an assistant manager at a local grocery. I swear the ad doesn’t talk about what office he’s running for. I have no idea.

But I assure you, they paint this guy like he accepts cash from Satanists, doesn’t cheer for the Dallas Cowboys, and starts his morning by setting the American flag on fire while doing an interpretive dance to the Psycho soundtrack and screaming “Hallelujah!” I’m certain I’ve not seen a corresponding commercial in support of this poor guy. Maybe someone just wanted to slag off on some guy he didn’t’ like. It would be a great bit.

Anyway, I voted, so I shouldn’t be subjected to this nonsensical sensory overload. All you technology sites under attack these days by the government should get on that.

Speaking of politics, while the ink has yet to be printed, much less dry, on this election, some folks look to be already making plans for future elections. Sensing a weak spot in the Texas State Attorney General’s office, current Texas Land Commissioner George P. Bush will “keep all options open” about a potential bid for attorney general in 2022.

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In case you haven’t been following state news, current Attorney General Ken Paxton is seeing a mutiny from his senior staff, as well as other ongoing litigation. I’m sure there will be plenty of commercials to watch when that election rolls around.

Home sales have been strong through the summer despite COVID concerns. Record low mortgage rates apparently have trumped fears of the virus.

But that may be changing. Sales of new homes fell by 3.5% in September to a seasonally-adjusted annual rate of 959,000 million units, the Commerce Department said Monday, as the housing market’s hot summer buying season cooled.

The Commerce Department said that despite the modest decrease, sales of new homes are up 32.1% from a year earlier. However, the pandemic may start to weigh on the market as the colder winter months arrive and with coronavirus cases spiking across much of the U.S.

Soon, Election 2020 will be over, and it will be time for the holiday season. How do I know this? I know this because KFC’s famous fried chicken-scented 11 Herbs & Spices Firelog is back, like the Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer special or that Mariah Carey earworm, All I Want For Christmas Is You.

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And this year, the KFC scented firelogs will be sold at Walmart, which really seems like it should have been their home in the first place. The Walmart near me is also near a KFC, so imagine the possibilities, like buying a KFC firelog and then picking up some chicken to take home to the family.

If you’re looking for another funky holiday gift, Fort Worth’s Best Maid Pickles may have the answer. On Friday, they opened a retail location, Best Maid Pickle Emporium at 829 W. Vickery Blvd. Surely there is something there for a relative with a sour attitude.