March 13, 2017
Having trouble classifying your electric unicycle? Want to identify your deer but don’t want to get it tattooed? The 85th Texas Legislature is here to help.Â
Now that the bill filing deadline has passed, former state lawmaker Corbin Van Arsdale on Monday published a list of nominees for the 50 best bill descriptions this session, and competition is tough.Â
Van Arsdale started the list in 2013, and in the four years since, he says it now has “a life of its own.”Â
“People will now email me out of the blue, saying, ‘Hey, be sure this is on the list,’ or, ‘Make sure you don’t miss this one,” Van Arsdale said. “Some are excited they’re on the list, and others are terrified it’s gonna be their bill.”Â
Whichever gets the “most love” from people around the Capitol, Van Arsdale said, will be crowned the winner Wednesday.Â
Van Arsdale served at the Legislature as a Houston-area representative from 2003 to 2009 and is now vice president and general counsel for the Texas branch of Associated General Contractors, a trade association representing parts of the construction industry.Â
“Session can be heavy, so it’s nice to have a little lighthearted break,” he said.Â
The top 50 bill descriptions of the 85th legislative session:Â
1. Relating to the operation of an electric unicycleÂ
2. Relating to the taking of certain feral hogs and coyotes using a hot air balloonÂ
3. Encouraging the President of the United States to refrain from threatening elected officialsÂ
4. Relating to the regulation of men’s health and safety; creating a civil penalty for unregulated masturbatory emissionsÂ
5. Relating to operating a motor vehicle while another person is occupying the trunkÂ
6. Relating to the regulation of raising or keeping six or fewer chickens by a political subdivisionÂ
7. Urging Texans not to use the flag emoji of the Republic of Chile when referring to the Texas flagÂ
8. Relating to the operation of a golf cart or utility vehicle on a public highway in certain countiesÂ
9. Relating to a franchise tax credit for entities that establish a grocery store or healthy corner store in a food desertÂ
10. Relating to a sales and use tax exemption for certain feminine hygiene products for a limited periodÂ
11. Relating to a study by the Department of Agriculture of the transfer of water from the Mississippi RiverÂ
12. Relating to restrictions on the use of certain sprays, Tasers, and stun guns against public school studentsÂ
13. Relating to the prosecution of the offense of impersonating a public servantÂ
14. Relating to the creation of the offense of bestialityÂ
15. Relating to requiring the review of public school district paperwork to limit paperwork requirementsÂ
16. Relating to a prohibition on the use of certain baseball bats at University Interscholastic League eventsÂ
17. Relating to standing in a roadwayÂ
18. Relating to the solicitation of pen pals by certain inmates of the Texas Department of Criminal JusticeÂ
19. Relating to honesty in state taxationÂ
20. Relating to the issuance of Blessed are the Peacemakers specialty license platesÂ
21. Relating to the status of powdered alcohol as an alcoholic beverage for purposes of the Alcoholic Beverage CodeÂ
22. Relating to pedestrian use of a sidewalkÂ
23. Relating to a sales and use tax exemption for child and adult diapersÂ
24. Relating to the regulation of fantasy gamesÂ
25. Relating to a sales and use tax exemption for condomsÂ
26. Relating to the use of certain weapons in or on the beds or banks of the Canadian River in Potter CountyÂ
27. Relating to certain lottery prize winners’ choice to remain anonymousÂ
28. Relating to the repeal of certain laws regulating the sale or transfer of secondhand watchesÂ
29. Relating to the consent required for the administration of prophylaxis to prevent ophthalmia neonatorumÂ
30. Relating to taxes imposed on vinous liquorÂ
31. Relating to registration and regulation of dangerous wild animalsÂ
32. Relating to the prosecution and punishment of the use of benzodiazepines or gamma butyrolactone to facilitate the commission of the offense of aggravated sexual assault and the addition of gamma butyrolactone to Penalty Group 1Â
33. Relating to the protection of expressive activities at public institutions of higher educationÂ
34. Relating to protecting freedom of conscience from government discriminationÂ
35. Relating to the identification of breeder deer by use of microchip implantsÂ
36. Relating to the adoption and implementation of a recess policy by public school districtsÂ
37. Relating to the composition of the combative sports advisory boardÂ
38. Relating to the publication, republication, or other dissemination of mug shots and certain other information regarding the involvement of an individual in the criminal justice systemÂ
39. Relating to a prohibition on the consideration of revenue anticipated to be derived from criminal fines in planning for the state budgetÂ
40. Urging Congress to pass a budgetÂ
41. Relating to increasing the punishment for the offense of abuse of a corpseÂ
42. Relating to signs required to be posted in the restrooms of sexually oriented businessesÂ
43. Relating to rules regarding the carcasses of certain birds or animalsÂ
44. Relating to the unlawful restraint of a dogÂ
45. Relating to the study and approval of lethal pesticides for feral hog controlÂ
46. Relating to ransomwareÂ
47. Relating to the punishment for the offense of theft of cattle, horses, exotic livestock, exotic fowl, sheep, swine, or goatsÂ
48. Relating to the requirement for a mass gathering or outdoor music festival permitÂ
49. Urging Congress to reduce the amount of paperwork required of teachers by federal lawÂ
50. Proposing a constitutional amendment providing for the recognition of equal rights of all peopleÂ
This article originally appeared in The Texas Tribune at https://www.texastribune.org/2017/03/13/50-nominees-top-caption-85th-session/.
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