The Barrows Firm
700 E. Southlake Blvd.
Suite 170
Southlake 76092
817-481-1583
barrowsfirm.com
Leslie Barrows is a divorce attorney, but she puts families first.
That’s been her focus from the day she opened her firm’s doors in 2006, she says, as she has strived to maintain a close-knit family feel for clients as well as staff members.
Over the years, The Barrows Firm has grown from a single divorce attorney in a single office in Colleyville into a thriving enterprise. Today, the firm operates in two locations in Tarrant and Denton counties.
Barrows has served on the board of directors for the Tarrant County Bar Association and is a former president of the Northeast Tarrant County Bar Association.
She is also a member of the Denton County Bar Association, the Tarrant County Criminal Defense Lawyers Association and the Tarrant County Family Law Bar Association, among others.
She spoke with the Fort Worth Business Press about dealing with divorce and, in some cases, even avoiding one.
Why are January and June the biggest months for divorces in the United States?
No one wants to confront divorce, or any major change in their lives for that matter. After spending time with spouses, children and in-laws during the holidays, January does appear to be the month with the most divorces and/or divorce consults, followed by June.
Most of us know we must make plans for any new challenge facing us. We are educated and/or experienced enough to know to plan ahead for moves, jobs, etc., and there is no difference with divorce.
Planning ahead creates a reduced emotional impact for all concerned, and the entire family unit is the concern. Seeking counsel for answers to divorce questions begins the process. Not all may engage the services of an attorney in January but consulting with an attorney eases those fearful questions we all have about divorces. Addressing the facets of a situation assists the person in their decision for their family.
A person with school-age children may wait to file for divorce in June, since the divorcing parties most likely will move to separate residences, sometimes outside of the children’s current school districts. To divorce in June during summer months seems a less severe transition for the children since the changes that come with divorce are already overwhelming the children … and the family as a whole.
What’s the most common reason given for divorces?
No. 1 on the list: communication breakdown, believe it or not – the stalemate that initiates the thoughts of divorce. The other most common reasons: abuse, money issues, infidelity, lack of intimacy, weight gain and unrealistic expectations.
Sometimes it is simplistic: The parties have just grown apart and no longer “like” each other, let alone love the other. You’ve heard, “He squeezes the top of the toothpaste tube, which drives me crazy!”
Those little things add up over time, and then you realize a snowball effect has begun its descent downhill.
Are most divorces filed by the husband or wife?
Studies show that women, not men, begin the divorce proceeding. Studies have also shown there is a vast difference in women’s and men’s financial outlook once a divorce is engaged.
Women’s financial bases are lowered, sometimes so negatively that they are close to needing food stamps, etc., to assist in their monthly bills.
Maybe the women have chosen to stay at home to rear the children and their careers suffer, making them start at the bottom in the workforce.
Men, on the other hand, maintain or grow their lifestyle. Keeping in mind that women initiate divorce more often tells you how difficult it is for them to make that decision, knowing what they may face.
Are divorces more common among families with or without children?
Divorce is divorce any way you look at it, but childless couples tend to divorce more often per many studies. The paramount reason: because there are no children involved. And those statistics show a more-than-double the rate versus couples with children.
Any parent can tell you children are the stressors in a relationship, but parents who contemplate divorce keep the children in the equation, they have that bond together, they harbor the same goals and love for their children, keeping them on the “same team” so to speak.
Although a childless couple has more time for their relationship or their career, they don’t have that common bond as do couples with children.
How often do people begin divorce proceedings but then reconcile?
Reconciliation happens more often than thought. Findings reflect that 45 percent of divorcees reconcile.
Many couples, especially with children, will attempt reconciliation before, during or sometimes years after a divorce.
Why? Because they realize they may still love each other, and enough time has passed to welcome a reconciliation, not only between the parties but in the family unit.
The issues encountered as husband and wife may have extinguished themselves and are no longer the basis of the divorce. Reconciliation reflects a desire to keep the marriage intact.
And absolutely anyone who is married, has been married or knows anything about relationships knows that marriage is a day-to-day working matter … that isn’t always easy.
What advice do you offer to someone to think about before making the move?
Plan, plan, plan. Not only address financial, educational and the emotional sides of the divorce, but also the impact it will have upon your family unit as a whole. Knowing your legal rights is a positive step towards planning.
Are amicable divorces more or less common these days?
Most consults who come into our office state they have agreed upon everything and it will be an amicable divorce. It is their “hope” and a divorce without conflicts costs less.
However, this is truly rare in fact.
The couples may start out feeling amicable toward each other because they have made the decision to divorce, but the issues they couldn’t agree on during marriage only accelerate during the divorce process and must ultimately be determined after negotiations.
This is where attorneys are especially valuable. Attorneys assist the couples with the “big picture.” And negotiations between attorneys are not emotionally charged, which assists with a positive final outcome for both parties.
What should be considered in a divorce? Finances? Children?
First, will counseling benefit the couple to overcome their issues, negating the need for divorce?
If there is alcohol or drugs involved in the relationship, will rehabilitation for the issues causing the rift in the parties’ relationship be beneficial?
Could family (other than immediate) step in to assist with the outstanding issues?
If all alternative avenues have been exhausted, then most definitely addressing their children and their needs, residences and finances begins the list of issues to consider. Planning helps immensely with these factors.
Any additional thoughts?
Our firm’s mantra is “Family Matters.” This belief should be the practice essence of any family law attorney.
Our firm addresses all issues concerned with divorce, especially the impact on each family member and how we may serve to provide a positive, caring outcome for the family encountering divorce.
I think people stay together, too, because of financial stability. Sometimes I don’t think people realize they are in a volatile relationship, accepting bad behavior as normal or typical, especially the young couples that meet and marry early and then stay together. They don’t grow emotionally together, drifting apart. I’ve seen this with couples many times.